Happiness Engineer?

My friend Behan, on Sailing Totem, says that one of her favorite roles on board is that of “Happiness Engineer” (one of her blog posts referencing the subject is here) She makes the point that this role is especially important when making the transition from land life to boat life, and ought to be the responsibility of the person whose dream this whole cruising thing is.

*Behan and me, maybe the first time we met in person?*

Basically, as I interpret the role right now, the “Happiness Engineer” needs to keep boat life positive. It might involve keeping an eye on special events at an upcoming cruising location, or keeping a pulse on the vibe on board and whisking people off for a dinghy adventure when cabin fever is setting in. It might be taking on some of the less-fun duties (head cleaning or bed making) or building in land excursions or using up data for video calls to friends and family. There’s not a set list of tasks or a job description other than the loose one implied by the title.

*Dinghy excursion for the kids, long ago and far away*

This subject has been on my mind lately for a host of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we are mired in what seems like an endless season of boat work. Jeremy’s been soldiering on by himself since the first week in August as I headed to the lake for family time and chauffeur duties; he’s pretty good about socializing with other boatyard inhabitants when invited but it’s rare that he will initiate the gathering. When I’m around, we try for a Friday night something (usually a potluck grill session on the marina deck) which generally I organize. Does this make me the Happiness Engineer? Not exactly. It’s more a selfish thing on my part since I love cooking, love entertaining, and love organizing social events like that. Probably if I were being the Happiness Engineer I’d figure out how to get us out sailing, though the best way I can help with that is to be here working alongside Jeremy. We’ve Happiness Engineered a couple of important family gatherings up at the lake - my dad’s 83rd birthday, a celebration of what would have been my late uncle Geoffrey’s 70th birthday - but those involved very long car trips and time away from the boat. Still, a break from the slog was welcome.

*Socializing when friends come in to town . . .*

*Sweet lit balloon banner by my cousin Terry in celebration of Uncle Geoffrey*

Sometimes it feels like the Happiness Engineer, at least on Calypso (and Mischief) sneaks in in the form of planning for future joy. Places, activities. Poring over Bahamas charts and cruising guides, ordering the new wing foil for winter play. That said? I have to admit the Happiness Engineer for the Calypso/Mischief crew seems to be pretty darn AWOL these days. My focus is on the basics - keeping Jeremy fed and watered, keeping the laundry done and the boat tidy enough to live in. I’ll liven it up with his favorite meal or beer, but that’s pretty slim pickings.

*Enjoying his last Heady Topper sailing between Tortola and St Thomas in December of 2022*

We stopped in Brooklyn yesterday to see Bee on our way south from the lake. (Bear with me, I get to the point I promise.) Over brunch at a neighborhood diner, Bee talked about their new teaching job and the challenges therein. “The only way over is through,” Bee lamented, realizing that the learning curve is indeed steep and the difference between life as a college student and one as a commuting professional vast. A friend had recently asked, “Is this really what you’d like to be spending your time doing right now?” A tough question, but not really the relevant one in my opinion, seen through the lens of life in a boatyard for the nth month with only a short break or two to whet the appetite.

The relevant question might be, “This is the life I’m living right now, the way I’m spending my time now. It’s hard, it’s pretty overwhelming, but it IS for a good reason. How can I engineer some happiness into my days?”

Taking on the role of Happiness Engineer for someone else is much easier than taking it on for yourself. Enlist your friends, enlist your partner, enlist your alter-ego. In the middle of the deep slog, finding ways to keep life light(er) and positive can be the boost you need to keep pushing through.