Sundowner Etiquette

We had dinner with our friends Megan and Nick on Clarity about a week before the boat show. (They have a sweet YouTube channel that you really ought to check out!) We were all laughing about some of the idiosyncrasies of cruising life, including sundowners.

The dinner invite was timed so we could enjoy sundowners together. We’d dinghied up to their transom and immediately handed up the bag that contained our drinks, glasses and all. Yes, we know the drill!

*Photo cred Nick and Megan O’Kelly, sv Clarity*

Sundowners is a cruiser term for “hanging out together at cocktail time, laughing and chatting and drinking while we watch the sun go down.” Doesn’t sound a whole lot different than on land, right? (Except possibly for the “watch the sun go down” part - generally, in a house, that’s not a regular part of your life.)

*Cockpit twinkle lights, with sunset in the distance.*

When you’re invited to another boat for sundowners, the most important thing you bring (other than yourselves) is whatever you like to drink. Yes, you bring your own beverages with you when you’re invited over. Show up with a cooler, or a bottle, or an already-mixed-whatever. Possibly you’ll share with your hosts; possibly they’ll share something with you. But BRING. YOUR. OWN.

What? Why?

*In the mood for bubbly? Bring it along!*

There are a couple of great reasons for this feels-weird-if-you’re-used-to-land-life twist on being invited over. I mean, on land, the point is to be hosted, right? With all it entails?

On the water, the real point is being together. Full stop.

Here are a few things to understand about cruising boats:

There’s not a lot of space. Meaning our selection of drink offerings is limited to what we, ourselves, like to drink. Unlike a house, where you might stock a large variety of things in case your guests so desire, a boat’s storage space dictates prioritization. For the stuff you drink on a regular basis.
Budgets are real. They’re all different, yes, but they are real. None of us can just spend money on your favorite drink (which we don’t drink) in case you want to come over some night. And if you happen to love hosting (or have the largest cockpit in the anchorage), why should your budget take the hit all the time?
Our tastes are ours; yours are yours. Maybe we don’t drink wine - and that’s your sun-toasting-libation of choice. Maybe you don’t love water from the local tap - but that’s all we have on the boat.

Sundowners are a fabulous tradition. Watching the sun go down, every night, is a way to remind us that, despite the many challenges of life afloat, there are aspects that are incredible - and worth celebrating.

Even if you have to bring your own drinks and glasses with you.