September 10, 2013

I keep wrestling with definitions. Not like dictionary definitions, though those take part. No, my struggles come with defining myself. Am I mom? wife? writer? coach? cook? woman? person? daughter sister niece aunt friend laundress chauffeur board member volunteer icouldkeepgoingforeveritseems. How can I be all of these and then, sometimes, feel like absolutely none of them?

One recent podcast I heard told me to look at my roles, all of them, and then figure out the top 5-7. The advice was that you can't expect to be an expert at more than 5-7 of these roles at one time, and identify the ones where you want to excel and let the other ones "go." That was freeing to a point, for sure - when I listed out 63 roles I kind of gasped. Then when talking to another friend about it, I realized I'd shortchanged others. I could probably spend a good part of my day trying to write out all the hats I wear. But deciding which 5-7 to focus on, to really work on - those were hard to get to but satisfying to identify. It made me think about what I'd like to let go of, where my energies are better focused.

One of the roles I came up with is more nebulous than it should be, and this is where my dictionary definitions come into play. I want to help people. I want to have an effect on people's lives, the more people the better. I can do this a number of ways, of course, and this helping piece is part of being a mom and a wife (2 of my roles). But I feel like I can effect change more effectively by being a better coach to my customers and to my own team of coaches. 

My team is Team Badass. The name came about almost as a joke, a not-so-subtle dig at my lack of self-confidence and the changes I am busy making in my own body and life. The more I think about it, though, the more I like it. So I went to the dictionary to see just what was there.

"violent." "aggressive." "tough" "uncooperative" "mean" "often vulgar" "ready to get into or cause trouble".

WHAT? Negative attributes, almost all. Yes, there are other definitions that are more positive - "excellent" and "of formidable skill" - but the predominant feeling seems to be more "Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch" crazy than "James Dean collar-flipped up" cool.

So I did what any self-respecting 40-something year old does in 2013 - I posted a question on Facebook. "What does "badass" mean to you?" The responses were enlightening. I got people's names. "Bringing your A game, everyday." "Moms everywhere, every day." "tough, awesome, amazing, or a tattooed biker." "committed, dedicated, going for it BigTime. Inspiring awe." "courage to love unconditionally."

I like these definitions. Those are the definitions of BADASS I mean when I call my team Badass - we are committed, inspiring awe, loving unconditionally, bringing our A game. Every single one of us is a Badass. The tagline is "because helping people feel fit and healthy makes anyone feel like a Badass."

This is my main role, then. Being a BADASS. Who wants to join me?